{"id":4625,"date":"2024-04-03T16:30:36","date_gmt":"2024-04-03T16:30:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alsoweb.org\/?p=4625"},"modified":"2024-04-04T21:03:12","modified_gmt":"2024-04-04T21:03:12","slug":"respecting-autonomy-in-relationships-and-bodily-autonomy-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alsoweb.org\/nonprofit-blog\/respecting-autonomy-in-relationships-and-bodily-autonomy-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Respecting Autonomy in Relationships and Bodily Autonomy (Part 3)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Respecting Autonomy in Relationships and Bodily Autonomy<\/h1>\n

It\u2019s no secret: Positive social relationships foster health and happiness.<\/a> But many people with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (I\/DD) lack autonomy in relationships, which limits their opportunities to make friends. In fact, individuals with I\/DD have an average of 3.1 people in their social network<\/a>, while people in the general population have 125. It\u2019s no wonder that 85%<\/strong> of young adults with developmental disabilities say they feel lonely most days<\/strong>. <\/strong>Since relationship autonomy obviously greatly affects quality of life, how can we support and encourage it?<\/p>\n

Supporting Autonomy in Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

We all get by with a little help from our friends\u2014it\u2019s even been scientifically validated. According to the American Psychological Association,<\/a> \u201cthirty-eight studies found that adult friendships, especially high-quality ones that provide social support and companionship, significantly predict well-being and can protect against mental health issues such as depression and anxiety\u2014and those benefits persist across the life span.\u201d<\/p>\n

But people with I\/DD are often kept from making friends. \u201cI had my mom and sister say I couldn\u2019t befriend certain people,\u201d says Glenda, who is supported by ALSO. \u201cBut I\u2019m a good judge of people \u2019cause I know who\u2019s going to be a good person and who\u2019s not, for the most part.\u201d<\/p>\n

As noted in \u201cRespecting Autonomy for People with I\/DD, Part One,\u201d<\/a> autonomy and decision-making are skills. That goes for relationship autonomy as well. Helping people build that skill can help them to find, build, and sustain healthy relationships. Harry Norris, a Behavior Specialist at ALSO, uses conversation as a tool to build that skill. If a person wants to have more friends, for example, Harry might begin by talking about what friendship is, and how to be a good friend. Then the two of them might talk about where to find new friends, using the person’s interests as a guide, and make a plan to go together to a place where the person might meet potential friends. \u201cI\u2019d provide more information (what our expectations are beforehand, gentle reminders during the event),\u201d Harry says. \u201cAnd have a debrief afterward, with how it went and what we can work on next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Relationship autonomy and decision-making skills help people build new relationships. They also help people make good decisions about not-so-healthy existing relationships. Darrin Barham, ALSO\u2019s Supported Living Director, gives the example of an individual supported by ALSO who had begun secretly seeing his ex-wife, even though there was a restraining order in place against her. Once he confided to staff he\u2019d been seeing his ex again, \u201cwe had to take a deep breath and just work through the (informed decision-making) process,\u201d says Darrin. Eventually the individual asked his ex to stay away, even though he still loved her. \u201cIt took feedback from different people’s perspectives who saw that she took advantage of him\u2026He got a chance to really understand where people were coming from, and that they weren’t trying to control him. He had a chance to make a profound decision on his own.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Right to Bodily Autonomy and Romantic Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\"\"
A developmentally disable man sits in a chair wearing a hat and sunglasses and holding a fish.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Too few people with I\/DD get to make their own decisions about romantic partners. Even though most people (and the United Nations)<\/a> see bodily autonomy as a fundamental human right, sexuality for people with I\/DD is a tough subject for many to broach. Harry thinks the avoidance is due to an entrenched stigma. \u201cPeople (with I\/DD) have been stigmatized for so long, and have almost been put into an infantilized situation,\u201d he says. \u201cWe’re working with adults. We all have similar biological needs. They (people with I\/DD) have all the same rights as any other citizen, and also have the right to education around sexual health. Because it’s such a hard topic, it’s shunted away a little bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

It’s shunted away more than a little. According to The United Nations Population Fund (UNPF), the UN\u2019s sexual and reproductive health agency,\u00a0young women and girls with disabilities have the lowest levels of sexual and reproductive health information and access. That lack of information can be devastating, as it coincides with much higher rates of gender-based violence, sexually transmitted diseases, and\u00a0unintended pregnancies. Comprehensive sexuality education<\/a> has been proven to reduce these risks. Furthermore, it\u2019s a right. \u201cBodily autonomy means being able to determine your own life and future, and having the information, services and opportunities to do so free from discrimination, coercion and violence,\u201d says the UNPF. \u201cIt is the power to make basic decisions such as whether to have sex, use contraception or seek health care.\u00a0These rights are all too often denied to persons with disabilities, whether through harmful social norms or through sheer and unacceptable lack of access to quality, and confidential, health care.\u201d<\/p>\n

ALSO support staff receive training on how to support and respect a person\u2019s right to bodily autonomy. For others who would like to learn how to encourage healthy social-sexual behaviors, Harry recommends the trainings offered by Among Friends<\/a>. The goals expressed in their mission statement are good ones for anyone supporting bodily autonomy for people with I\/DD:<\/p>\n